Tag Archives: depression

A Gentle Reminder to the Self

The abysmal pit is anything but different from the euphoric moments in your life, they’re both a state of mind. Even your mental faculties process reality on basis of causality, being mad or sad is nothing but an effect of a certain cause. Being aware to your mental processing can be in itself the cause to an effect of alternate state of mind. Learn from the stoics.

On another note, you have very little control of the next moment or the next day, don’t worry, that’s on your side. At the end of the day what rules is probability. If you’re sad, the probabilities are in favor of you being sad if you continue that line of action/thought without intending to interrupt it. While interrupting it, in whatever possible way, will always include a new variety of probabilities in the basket. So go ahead. Interrupt your fucking life, and alter things around.

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Where is my Shangri-La?

Bold and eternal walks.

Bleak and greasy roads.

Where is my Shangri-La?

Where is my Shangri-La?

 

Yellow, smoky notes.

Pleasant yet ephemeral souls.

Where is my Shangri-La?

Where is my Shangri-La?

 

Background lovely noise.

Rare and enormous dose.

Where is my Shangri-La?

Where is my Shangri-La?

 

Being among the moth.

Never let the voice.

Where is my Shangri-La?

Where is my Shangri-La?

 

Pledging for the cause.

Never Ending loss.

Where is my Shangri-La?

Where is my Shangri-La?

 

Where is my Shangri-La?

Where is my Shangri-La?

Where is my Shangri-La?

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Reflections of the undead #1

I walk the forgotten fields restlessly, aimlessly, rid of a destination and hope to find one.

I’ve lost my feelings longtime ago, far ago, I wonder why sometimes and at others I wonder why not.

I’ve lost my feelings longtime ago, far ago, I can’t remember when I had them, I have a memory of pleasure, I once had pleasure, but the memory is void of sensations, it’s there only to torment me but even that would’ve been a bless.

I often see them laughing, from the corner of my eyes, they look to me for a brink of second after they laugh, only to tell me they’re laughing and that I’m not worth it. But even after that, I can hear them laughing.

I am not laughing; am I?

I am alone, still I see from times to times souls at a distance, they’re gray, they’re skinny, they’re naked and bald. They stand there still, they’re silent. They look with empty eyes at the horizon and they turn to look at me, their eyes are burdened with absolute nothingness. They don’t feel and they don’t grasp. and then they walk away unknowing. We share the same doom, that everyone shall be doomed on his own.

I think I know peace, I think I’ve reached peace, it’s that place at the unfathomable  bottom when you’re rid of hope and feelings, then everything becomes the tasteless lifeless same and so do you. Isn’t that peace?

I am not coherent, does that statement negate itself?

Am I invisible?

I can’t remember, even when I do, that’s what I say often to myself.

I can stand the test of time, not because I am an invincible subject, but because I am the subject…. and the test.

I am no evil, I am no good too and don’t mistake me for innocence. I am beyond all essence, now you understand.

I won’t be back because I am not gone, and I won’t be gone because I am not here, and this is not a contradiction, it’s an integration.

I sometimes see pictures of when the child was a child, when the sea was the sea, and when the sun was the sun, now.. I just don’t know.

I sometimes wonder, after all, what may oblivion be?

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